F1-SD WINS THE MONACO GRAND PRIX (OF CANAPES)

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My view during the race, aboard Flavio Briatore’s yacht. Didn’t take many notes.

I’m back home, in my local, about to do my weekly pub quiz. Here we are in the real world (well, as real as an English pub in Paris gets). Monaco is mental: exhausting, excessive, but serious fun. I think if you were exposed to it year round you would become loopy, out-of-touch, shallow, and broke so long as you sought to keep up with your peers. But for one week it’s an experience you’ll remember for a lifetime, mainly in good ways.

The F1-SD Canapes Challenge was a roaring success. Between Thursday and race night I managed to avoid any subsistence expenses whatsoever, so from an accounting point of view I win the Monaco Grand Prix, and stick that in your pipe Nico Rosberg!

Nico celebrated at the Amber Lounge, where I joined his gang at around 4am this morning just in time to catch last orders. Earlier I was walking through the tunnel towards the Torch yacht party, which has been my home for much of the weekend, when I saw a 40-strong gang in baggy clothes walking towards me. Judging by their look and the fact none of them were walking in a straight line, I guessed they might be Finnish. As they came closer sure enough, like the pied piper of Helsinki, there was Kimi Raikkonen, laughing away, and he gave me a high five as he passed. Good to see him chipper, because when he said Sergio Perez should be “punched in the face” earlier, for ruining his race, I was a little concerned Kimi might be in poor spirits. Of course not. Give Kimi a shot and everything is fine again.

DJ Lora did a set and Xzibit performed at Torch, with Sebastian Vettel surrounded by Energy Station girls and toasting his increased lead in the championship. This was news to the bouncer, though, who initially refused the triple world champion entry to the boat. He wouldn’t believe Seb was an F1 driver until someone brought up Wikipedia on their iPhone.

Last week the Daily Mail slammed Lewis Hamilton for his celebrity lifestyle, but maybe Vettel needs to boost his profile on the party circuit or else he’ll be at the back of the grid whenever he wants to get served in a bar.

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